Conflict is not simply an argument or a struggle: it is a negative interaction between two or more interdependent people, rooted in some actual or perceived disagreement (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2009, p. 196). I totally agree with this definition, and I think that most of the time all the conflicts that I have with others because there is a negative interaction and miscommunication about a conflict.
One conflict that often arises between me and my husband is often about money issues. He likes to spend all the money that he has today without thinking of tomorrow. Almost every day we have conflicts and disputes about this issue. I always try to raise my voice, and sometimes without even realizing, I communicate with him as I am communicating with a child, and to always keep arguing with him to prove for him that “I am right” and he is “wrong”. This strategy never helped to resolve the conflict, and always made things worse and negatively influenced our relationship.
Now, I would use a different strategy that could help solve the conflict more productively. The new strategy would be the win-win strategy where I will calmly discuss the situation with my husband until we arrive at a solution that satisfies both of us. This strategy not only will help both of us resolve the conflict, but also it improves our relationship and makes our life free of stress caused by this conflict.
The other conflict or disagreement that I always have is with my mom, she always wants things to go her way and it is very hard to convince her or to make her change her mind. I am a person who respects and loves her mom a lot and don’t like to see her sad. So the best strategy that learned to use to manage and resolve the conflict is the escapist strategy by trying to prevent and avoid direct conflict with her. I thought this is the greatest strategy to use with my mom to manage the conflicts, because it helps me to maintain a great relationship with my mom.
I found this week’s resources to be highly beneficial and helpful. It is important to consider each of these strategies when resolving conflict. By recognizing the conflict, we can find more specific strategies that then lead to more positive resolutions.
Resources:
O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s
Bouthania,
ReplyDeleteI often have fanancial conflicts with my husband too. It sounds like we have been handling them the same way. I am glad you found a strategy in this week's resources that might help manage the conflict more successfully.
Thanks for sharing!
Teri
Bouthaina,
ReplyDeleteI think there are a lot of families out there who are arguing or conflicting about money. It is a very sensitive subject in this economy and time in history. I don't think it's uncommon that you are having conflicts with your husband about this topic and I like the strategies that you explained that work for you. They may not work for everyone but you have made them work. :)
Thanks for sharing!
Caitlyn
I think the win win strategy is a great way to communicate about money I guess I see the times we are living in and yes most people do not look ahead for the future but also remember it is important to be happy so balance it out and continue to discuss how to make things better and not let money be the root of evil. Thanks for sharing...
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your examples! Looks like you really listening to the resources this week and now your figuring out how to apply them in your life! I find that once I learn something new I need to put it in to practice for it to stick with me! Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDelete