Last summer when I was in Lebanon,
my sister and I went shopping. While we
were walking on the streets, her 3 year old son saw a beggar sitting on the
street. The little boy’s eyes
grew round as he saw that this beggar had no legs. Suddenly, he loudly
announced “Mommy! That guy has no legs!’’.My sister and I, we both tried to
silence the boy because we didn’t want him to hurt the feelings of this beggar.
And my nephew kept saying: “oh my God, how can he walk, he has no legs”. “Shhhh!
you stop that right now, or I won’t buy you Ice cream” his mommy said. My nephew stopped
asking or pointing. But he was walking and looking at the guy. He looked so surprised
and wanted to know how this guy can walk back home. He was also curious to know
how this person lost his both legs. Unfortunately, all his questions were left
unanswered. All what we both cared for was not to show the man that the boy was
pointing at him.
Derman Sparks and
Olsen Edwards (2010) discussed that when adults are silent, children’s limited
experiences and ability to make sense of what they see and feel may become the
first step in developing prejudice or undermining their self-concept (p. 80).
Our response and silence might have confirmed to the child that this guy is
really different than us and that talking about disability or his difference is
something dangerous or scary to be discussed.
To support the child’s
understanding, we should have used this situation as an opportunity to help my
nephew understand that there are differences in people, and that it is not
something surprising. His mom would have said that: “maybe he had an accident
that caused him to lose his both legs, and look I see that he has a wheel chair
that he uses to get around”.
More importantly is to
follow up with the child and read books that help him learn and understand
about the different types of disabilities. It is also as important to discuss
with the child that children with disabilities can still go to school and when
they grow up they can still become mothers, fathers, or any other role they
choose to be.
Derman-Sparks, L., & Olsen Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: NAEYC.
What a perfect example of what we have learned about. I think about how many instances this sort of situation has happened within my classroom and how many times have I failed to go back and make it a teachable moment. This has been very eye opening to me as I have just delivered my first child and I am glad I have learned these insights sooner than later. We must remember that children are observers and we cannot get on to them for noticing differences! Thank you for this reminder with your very authentic personal experience!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great example and one that I often hear about. The hardest thing about addressing what children say is that they are so curious and they will being up questions they have often (several times a day). Sometimes it feels hard to have the time to do it, but I am realizing how important it is because it can greatly impact their whole future!
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
Abby
What a great example! It reminds me of how curious children can be and often times ask some of the toughest questions that we as adults do not know how to answer. Thank you for sharing such a great example and reminding me to always try to explain and use each moment as an opportunity to teach my young children about the differences in others.
ReplyDeleteBouthaina,
ReplyDeleteI think this is an excellent example of how children are curious and how we as adults can sometimes hinder their curiosity. Children are naturally interested in the world around them, especially when they notice people who are different from them and if we as adults teach them unknowingly to not question diversity, we may also unknowingly be teaching them to ignore the differences of others or to not care about those who are not like them.
This is a great post!
It is important to address the issue of differences as soon as a child notices them. We as adults and teachers need to use these opportunities as teachable moments. We need to answer children's questions and then support their learning about stereotypes and biases so that they become fair human beings in this world.
ReplyDelete